Michael found me. Which comes with a plethora of complicated feelings, as is always the case with his family, Michael especially. He hardly wanted Michael there, but Michael wasn't going to kill him. It could have gone much worse. He got me back here.
So he should maybe stop referring to it as a big dumb rock now that this is confirmed.
We did wonder. Sometimes in jest, sometimes as real theorizing. But there was some constant thought about it. So, it's not used to company, mm?
Oh, fuck. Istredd has the good grace to look contrite. I'm sorry, I know you have a contentious relationship with him. And to be in a position of weakness with his brother would be uncomfortable to say the least. There was no real reason for Lucifer to think he was going to be on the end of debilitating pain. At least he did say it wasn't the version of his brother who was a danger.
It's not alive like we are, as far as I can tell we cannot have a real conversation with it, but it's not an object, it has emotions, it reacts to stimulus. Rhy has some kind of real connection to it. A reaction was apparently causing foreign magic users pain for coming into its area. Perhaps they seemed like a threat. It would be reasonable to get defense when it was at its weakest.
Is he slightly envious of Rhy? Very much so. But it is probably best he doesn't have one. He cannot have a scientific study on something he is emotionally connected to. It's possible they will let us go back and study it. We can't physically go straight to it again, not until next year, but we can study around it, maybe come up with some tests to send into the crater.
Istredd's getting some excitement back into his tone and he tries to sit up, but feels dizzy doing so, wavering for a moment.
It's a brain? it comes out sudden, as his thoughts make the odd connection. Curious and turning over in his mind. A piece of the whole? Would the whole be all of Abraxas, or something different? Something they may not be able to see? He'd considered something about veins or circuitry coming from the Singularity, crossing to the domains in the Horizon, but maybe there's far more to it than just that.
He glares, briefly, at Istredd for trying to move. Just don't, pal. It's too soon, though seeing more life to Istredd is just another reassurance.
Possibly. I'm not sure we have the words to frame what it is, but it's not a rock. The rock exists, but the Singularity itself is something else. If it is a brain, the rock might be its body, a form it is placed in.
Istredd has thought from the start it was more than a physical object, because he is used to monoliths. He knows the difference between him always communing with actual rocks vs. something humming at him from the Horizon. He thinks there may be more conclusions he can come to later, once he has time to consider. He doesn't manage to sit up completely, but he is able to lean on an arm, halfway up.
It didn't like foreign magic. I tried at one point to use my telempathy on it, and it made it hurt more. Lucifer probably felt it intensify at one point. I don't know if that's just a defense mechanism since we weren't supposed to be there.
Can't blame it for getting defensive. Though it felt extreme. He felt a lot of things, but nothing was as bad as that first intense strike. And truly it was the long stretch of silence
At least it wasn't a total pointless trip. That would've been the ultimate annoyance. That all this bullshit got them nothing.
It could have easily killed us, I have no doubt about that. And that was in its weakest state. That is why they had to go on the last day of the Dimming, when it was less likely to be able to stop them. To be able to exhibit that power despite dimming in power, who knows what it has in reserves.
Istredd smiles wider than Lucifer's seen and his eyes are bright, if weariness still hangs over him. Lucifer, it worked, we were there. Listen let him have a few seconds to nerd out. This was his obsession from the moment he got here. He made a plan and it worked.
Painful. He laughs. Overwhelming. Unique. I've never been in the presence of something so powerful. It only made me more intrigued.
It's not as if it was possible that Istredd would go there and suddenly decide not to be interested anymore. He was always going to want to know more, explore everything he can, get answers. It's just a difference of passion. If it turned out to be less than expectations, he would have done it from a logic necessary standpoint. He still cares.
I would say before I have no intention of helping Thorne control it, but I truly don't think they ever could. Their ambitions about that are a dead end. That is what he thinks as of now.
You know, that checks out for you. Given Istredd's relationship with Lucifer.
He stretches of his legs, rocks his feet side to side, taps his fingers along his stomach, then stands, grabs the plate of bread, and thrusts it at Istredd. "Try to eat. You look like Hell warmed over." Ah, Istredd doesn't get the joke yet. Well. One day, likely.
He takes his seat again. So often Lucifer does the cost-benefit analysis and other times he flies by the seat of his Abandonment Complex pants. Generally speaking of late he doesn't even know what he wants. Michael noticed it, too.
The eternal 'survival' mantra.
I have no intention of doing anything Thorne wants. They're a means to an end--always have been. What that end is I'm not sure. They're the best access to the Singularity, that's all. But eventually they'll outlive their use and they'll be a gourd to crack open.
What can I say? I love a challenge. He chuckles. Istredd has researched until his eyes couldn't focus and his back was hunched and his fingers were covered in papercuts. But he's never lost his love for learning. And that does stay true with people too, like Lucifer. Never boring. Always interesting and challenging. Special.
"Thank you. It is kind of you to put in the effort, especially since you hate me." That's the problem with Istredd, once he hears something that amuses him, he'll bring it back. Like the placeholder and now Lucifer's grumpy proclaimed hate. He rarely gets this though, a lack of a friend means a lack of someone to banter with.
He chews on the toast, it is smart to start there, and he will probably eat very light at the banquet tonight. Now he is doing well enough to fully sit up, but he is still very pale for him. Istredd considers what he's saying; no he isn't surprised, but he really doesn't have a leaning toward violence personally.
The access to the Singularity and the best magic. It's a trade-off. I wouldn't prefer one of the other places, despite there being more freedom. It may be a different kind of freedom, one that masquerades as it, and there's something crueler about that. But not everyone in that castle is a bad person. I've spent a lot of time with the people of conquered lands.
"So much hate, thought I'd have to actually find a new placeholder," Lucifer drones, because too late, don't worry, he's already brought it back, "do you know how exhausting that would be? What a waste of my very valuable time."
If leaderships could change it might help. Yennefer told me once that there were different factions within Thorne itself. Finding those and learning more had taken a bit of a backseat. He's gotten less skilled at multitasking.
Or if they wouldn't be so uppity about us just going somewhere else in their territory without their permission. Hayle supposedly has a university. But Hayle is also very cold. And Lucifer notably hates being cold.
Istredd laughs, his spirit lighter than usual. It could be because he is delirious from his trip or because Lucifer makes him feel better. "It's true, you lucked out with me. You barely had to make any effort there." Just allow someone to share his space and much of his life here with. So little effort. He is able to multitask with chewing and mentally communicating, one of the reasons it's easier for him.
The queen is the problem. None of the mages have enough authority to be able to make a dent. Appealing to the king seems pointless. She's reckless and power-hungry. The only way he can see the mages making a coup would be to assassinate the queen, and none of them seem cold-hearted to do that. Including Ambrose. They can't control her either.
I'd keep you warm. Realizing a beat later what that could sound like, he hurries to follow up. We have our log still and fire spells, you'd be fine.
He is trying to make the man feel better. It's just odd to have any success at it. But the lack of effort on Lucifer's part is untrue. Sharing space and much of his life had been extremely difficult. Maybe more difficult now than it had in the beginning.
I don't trust Ambrose, but compared to the queen--or without the queen--he's likely harmless. The distrust comes from what Yennefer's explained to him about the Summoneds' first time here.
Otherwise he just takes the man as incompetent.
Too much power underestimates everyone. She wouldn't expect someone insignificant to usurp her. Someone just needs enough bull-headed determination.
Is he speaking from experience? Who knows. The magic 8-ball of Lucifer's thoughts are coming up Reply Hazy.
He manages to not laugh at Istredd's blunder, but it's a near thing.
Get me some heating enchantments for clothing and then we'll talk. Not that either of us have the money to get you into Abraxas' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The joke in that title is clear.
A long time ago, another mage tried to summon people from other worlds. He was exiled for it and became the founder of Solvunn. Until Ambrose, they didn't try it again. Of course Istredd being Istredd, he was intrigued by the history of the kingdoms and it was the first thing he looked up.
She could have ordered him to, he's only been nine years in his position. Hard to say. But I'm not sure anyone is harmless. In our world, mages are placed in courts, specifically to try and manipulate the monarchies. Yennefer could probably tell him more about that than Istredd did. It's why she is so good at it herself, becoming close to the Queen.
His look is speculative and his humor evaporates. I hope you don't mean you, Lucifer. I'm not the coup-throwing type. For one, a Summoned would not become the next person in power, for two, Istredd can barely tolerate people now. He wouldn't want his best friend to be the leader out of no where. Or we could try to get the king to get it together and take the reins back. He seems more reasonable.
As for the heat joke, well, he scolds himself internally for nearly getting flustered over something so stupid. And pointless. I already went to a magic school. He doesn't get the reference! I can find you that enchantment.
I don't want to lead this dump. It's thrown out with disgust, but there's a web of thoughts surrounding it, easy to grasp: that Lucifer's too weak to protect himself in the position, that he doesn't know enough about the whole political game of this world, and how dare he just get compared to Dean Winchester (because that is the bull-headed idiot Lucifer was considering). The king has potential, even if it's just as a figurehead.
He grins. Istredd flustered is going to start being a thing to amuse him, it seems. But you haven't been to this magic school. There are better things to use money on though. Please do, either way. I could use them when we keep sinking into winter here.
It is funny that Istredd warned him about possible feelings and thought bleeding, and he isn't the one doing it. Lucifer is even in the most casual of ways. Istredd doesn't know the name Dean Winchester though it's apparently in line with his disgust about other things. He pauses, tilting his head curiously. Are there other people from your world here?
He knows about Michael and never considered asking if there were others. He doesn't know if that name is someone back home or someone here, but it seems like a reasonable thing to ask.
Istredd would like it if Lucifer forgot the joy of flustering him, thanks. He likes to keep his composure but it is very easy to spin him out, a fact he is hoping to keep secret. Due to embarrassment. Have you always been this sensitive to the cold? You're this all-powerful old being, and you hate winter.
He hasn't felt a need to stutter the bleed and it's been so long since he's been able to simply exist freely, courtesy of thinking all the walls in Thorne were breathing.
Unfortunately, there's a couple. Michael in Solvunn and a few in Free Cities.
Istredd's a smart man; he can likely make the connection from the sentence to Lucifer saying everyone he knows in Free Cities wants him dead.
No. I 'burn cold' as it were. But I've lost so much that makes me what I am that it's... lessened all my tolerances. Now I sleep, eat, and bleed. And my own inherent cold literally comes back to bite me.
Istredd doesn't mind the flow of thoughts as it is also how his mind works much of the time, brains do have a way of tumbling around, but it's nice to feel that free cascade. It's emotions that feed him more than thoughts. For someone who tries to be very contained, he can be hungry for them to be unfiltered.
The people who want to kill you? Yes he makes that jump immediately, frowning. His concern is clear, worried for Lucifer's safety, considering he came to him bleeding everywhere once. It must have been them. He needs to protect him, despite that seeming ridiculous to someone powerful. I'll be able to feel if you're in danger too.
Lucifer didn't sleep, eat, and bleed before? There is no end to the ways in which he's an alien. Here, I'll .... He begins to cast a low level Abraxas heating spell, not thinking about the fact he was in pain horribly recently. So attempting to use his magic immediately backfires on him, causing his headache to worsen and he hisses.
"The fire is enough right now, idiot," Lucifer tsks, though not unkindly, before the rest of it catches up through his mind and the first lock-up of Lucifer's thoughts follows, though not stifled entirely. Just like how Lucifer can physically tense oftentimes. Outwardly he looks as though nothing had changed. Don't get involved with it, Istredd, it comes across sharply in warning. Anything else, fine. But not that.
And any thoughts around the why of it are obfuscated, if only because knowing will make Istredd more willing to get involved. But Dean with that blade could gut through Lucifer into the heart of his celestial being.
And he will shred through Istredd before he even tried a spell.
Lucifer refuses to allow that any chance of happening.
I'm not helpless, Lucifer. I'm stronger than you think. Istredd says, more sharp than usual. Just as he snapped at Geralt before for underestimating him, he does it again. He is not devoid of his own triggers. After a long time of fellow mages looking down on him for being more interested in books than power, he has just enough of a sliver of pride that can get bruised. His frustration gets through with a prickle of defensiveness.
You're my friend, I'm not going to stand by. It is slightly hypocritical to say that considering he just went somewhere Lucifer couldn't follow and made him fear for Istredd's life for a time. He forced him to stand by and let it happen in that case. He's caught, even he can be a hypocrite.
"I know you're not helpless!" he snarls, aloud, and stands abruptly, pacing away. His thoughts are thunderclouds, images more than sound, roiling. Flashes of unnatural lightning that if Istredd ever goes to Lucifer's domain, he'll see the same thing. "This isn't about strength. You want to know who held the blade currently--somehow--in his possession? The Father of Murder."
There are brief snippets of thought coming through the storm, jumbled and out of alignment, from the very-carefully tucked-away cloud:
Cain and Abel.
Knight of Hell.
Corruption.
'It just made you more of what you already were'--and that last one isn't Lucifer's voice. It's a mousey, but high voice, clouded over with feelings of hatred and betrayal and shattered love.
Lucifer spins about, furious. "I know how to handle him. I know how to handle what he has." He's shaking. "He despises me, Istredd, and when that Mark corrupts him completely, I can still contain him." He hopes. "But if you get involved? He will see it as an opportunity to make me suffer, and destroy you. There is no one winning against what he has, not for any of us!"
Istredd springs to his feet as well, but the moment he does, he wavers. He is doing much better, there is energy in him, especially now, but he is not in a place to be a threat to anyone. Which just feeds into the problem. And he is stubborn about it. He manages to stay on his feet, firm balance on his mind.
"I understand you are afraid he will use me against you. That is serious and I don't want it to happen either." He has no doubt that this man would do that, from the fear Lucifer has about it. It would worry him to be Lucifer's weakness, but he is feeling a few things very strongly in that moment. Anger, frustration, fear of his own, something deeper than he wants to get into.
"I won't go looking for trouble or to engage with this person, I'll leave him alone." Istredd is someone who always speaks very plainly and calm, but when he gets in this state, there's passion in his voice. "But against impossible odds, we find ourselves in another world, we found our way to this friendship unintentionally. Now that I have it, I'm not going to give it up. I gave up on Yenna, I'm not doing it again."
The heavy weight that hits Lucifer scatters his thoughts as his realization slams through him.
This is exactly what his goal was when he first arrived in Thorne. Find a bunch of halfwits (Istredd isn't a halfwit, though he is often blinded by his distractions), make them more than what they already were. Make them reliant on Lucifer. Make them want to protect him, because Lucifer had been too weakened to do it himself.
Make them want to die for him.
Lucifer won the game.
He has what he needs.
The problem is percolating on this very ship, the Mark slowly making its corrosive way through Dean Winchester's veins. Make him just like Lucifer, dragged down to Lucifer's level. A monster, a killing machine. Nothing more, just exponentially rocketing up those murderous tendencies--more of what he already was.
A little push here, a little more corruption there. Turn Dean against everyone he's ever loved, make them all see his true self.
And so what if a few people die to get between Lucifer and Dean? They don't matter, right? That was the whole point.
Lucifer knows he bungled his plans up severely at some stage, but he hadn't realized just how much until he's staring at everything he ever needed to survive right in the face and his thoughts are still unable to form new connections to process that. He just stares at Istredd, devoid of thought, devoid of sound.
They were in the midst of a fight (sort of) and Istredd was expecting a push back, getting ready for it. The thing is, no matter how much they argue the point, when it actually happens, instinct will win out. He can promise here and still feel that gut fear when it happens and find him. He couldn't save Yennefer when she was attacked, he couldn't force everyone to do their cards.
Whether it makes sense or not, whether he wants it or not, the two of them are connected in his mind. Lucifer maybe planted it there himself by saying they were alike. She is his biggest blindspot and he didn't expect another one would happen. It's not good for him either, he has plans. But he is telling the truth. This is where he's at. He hopes it never comes to pass though.
What he absolutely did not expect was Lucifer to just stop. Freeze. It didn't make sense so it threw off his anger. At first he is concerned someone is attacking his mind, but he would know that. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he cautiously takes a few steps toward him, closing some of the space Lucifer made. "Lucifer? Hello?"
It's... maybe unwise. Because the proximity does teeter something in Lucifer's mind, and Lucifer is never one to feel cornered, or off-balance. His mood is that eternal pendulum, coming and going with just a strike, sometimes finding its equilibrium, and as much as he dislikes the snake analogies that follow him around like every other title he didn't choose, this Serpent will strike when threatened, regardless if there is an actual threat.
So lightning sparks a fuse and the thoughts and feelings coalesce with a bang and feed over the link. All of it. Lucifer's original plans, Lucifer's desire to push Dean's corruption, Lucifer's winning the game, and all of it ruptured by (1) idiotic mage that wormed into Lucifer's life.
The last tumbled thought following like a whimper that he doesn't want to win this.
And then Lucifer collapses, loosely held up in a crouch.
"I really hate you," Lucifer mumbles, sounding no less true than it did the first time he said it.
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thedevilwhorose) wrote2027-05-08 09:26 pm
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So he should maybe stop referring to it as a big dumb rock now that this is confirmed.
We did wonder. Sometimes in jest, sometimes as real theorizing. But there was some constant thought about it. So, it's not used to company, mm?
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It's not alive like we are, as far as I can tell we cannot have a real conversation with it, but it's not an object, it has emotions, it reacts to stimulus. Rhy has some kind of real connection to it. A reaction was apparently causing foreign magic users pain for coming into its area. Perhaps they seemed like a threat. It would be reasonable to get defense when it was at its weakest.
Is he slightly envious of Rhy? Very much so. But it is probably best he doesn't have one. He cannot have a scientific study on something he is emotionally connected to. It's possible they will let us go back and study it. We can't physically go straight to it again, not until next year, but we can study around it, maybe come up with some tests to send into the crater.
Istredd's getting some excitement back into his tone and he tries to sit up, but feels dizzy doing so, wavering for a moment.
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He glares, briefly, at Istredd for trying to move. Just don't, pal. It's too soon, though seeing more life to Istredd is just another reassurance.
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Istredd has thought from the start it was more than a physical object, because he is used to monoliths. He knows the difference between him always communing with actual rocks vs. something humming at him from the Horizon. He thinks there may be more conclusions he can come to later, once he has time to consider. He doesn't manage to sit up completely, but he is able to lean on an arm, halfway up.
It didn't like foreign magic. I tried at one point to use my telempathy on it, and it made it hurt more. Lucifer probably felt it intensify at one point. I don't know if that's just a defense mechanism since we weren't supposed to be there.
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At least it wasn't a total pointless trip. That would've been the ultimate annoyance. That all this bullshit got them nothing.
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Istredd smiles wider than Lucifer's seen and his eyes are bright, if weariness still hangs over him. Lucifer, it worked, we were there. Listen let him have a few seconds to nerd out. This was his obsession from the moment he got here. He made a plan and it worked.
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Fine. He'll drop his paranoia for a moment and allow Istredd to fully nerd out. You're welcome, idiot nerd.
Tell me, what was it like?
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It's not as if it was possible that Istredd would go there and suddenly decide not to be interested anymore. He was always going to want to know more, explore everything he can, get answers. It's just a difference of passion. If it turned out to be less than expectations, he would have done it from a logic necessary standpoint. He still cares.
I would say before I have no intention of helping Thorne control it, but I truly don't think they ever could. Their ambitions about that are a dead end. That is what he thinks as of now.
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He stretches of his legs, rocks his feet side to side, taps his fingers along his stomach, then stands, grabs the plate of bread, and thrusts it at Istredd. "Try to eat. You look like Hell warmed over." Ah, Istredd doesn't get the joke yet. Well. One day, likely.
He takes his seat again. So often Lucifer does the cost-benefit analysis and other times he flies by the seat of his Abandonment Complex pants. Generally speaking of late he doesn't even know what he wants. Michael noticed it, too.
The eternal 'survival' mantra.
I have no intention of doing anything Thorne wants. They're a means to an end--always have been. What that end is I'm not sure. They're the best access to the Singularity, that's all. But eventually they'll outlive their use and they'll be a gourd to crack open.
He doubts Istredd will be surprised by that.
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"Thank you. It is kind of you to put in the effort, especially since you hate me." That's the problem with Istredd, once he hears something that amuses him, he'll bring it back. Like the placeholder and now Lucifer's grumpy proclaimed hate. He rarely gets this though, a lack of a friend means a lack of someone to banter with.
He chews on the toast, it is smart to start there, and he will probably eat very light at the banquet tonight. Now he is doing well enough to fully sit up, but he is still very pale for him. Istredd considers what he's saying; no he isn't surprised, but he really doesn't have a leaning toward violence personally.
The access to the Singularity and the best magic. It's a trade-off. I wouldn't prefer one of the other places, despite there being more freedom. It may be a different kind of freedom, one that masquerades as it, and there's something crueler about that. But not everyone in that castle is a bad person. I've spent a lot of time with the people of conquered lands.
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If leaderships could change it might help. Yennefer told me once that there were different factions within Thorne itself. Finding those and learning more had taken a bit of a backseat. He's gotten less skilled at multitasking.
Or if they wouldn't be so uppity about us just going somewhere else in their territory without their permission. Hayle supposedly has a university. But Hayle is also very cold. And Lucifer notably hates being cold.
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The queen is the problem. None of the mages have enough authority to be able to make a dent. Appealing to the king seems pointless. She's reckless and power-hungry. The only way he can see the mages making a coup would be to assassinate the queen, and none of them seem cold-hearted to do that. Including Ambrose. They can't control her either.
I'd keep you warm. Realizing a beat later what that could sound like, he hurries to follow up. We have our log still and fire spells, you'd be fine.
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I don't trust Ambrose, but compared to the queen--or without the queen--he's likely harmless. The distrust comes from what Yennefer's explained to him about the Summoneds' first time here.
Otherwise he just takes the man as incompetent.
Too much power underestimates everyone. She wouldn't expect someone insignificant to usurp her. Someone just needs enough bull-headed determination.
Is he speaking from experience? Who knows. The magic 8-ball of Lucifer's thoughts are coming up Reply Hazy.
He manages to not laugh at Istredd's blunder, but it's a near thing.
Get me some heating enchantments for clothing and then we'll talk. Not that either of us have the money to get you into Abraxas' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The joke in that title is clear.
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She could have ordered him to, he's only been nine years in his position. Hard to say. But I'm not sure anyone is harmless. In our world, mages are placed in courts, specifically to try and manipulate the monarchies. Yennefer could probably tell him more about that than Istredd did. It's why she is so good at it herself, becoming close to the Queen.
His look is speculative and his humor evaporates. I hope you don't mean you, Lucifer. I'm not the coup-throwing type. For one, a Summoned would not become the next person in power, for two, Istredd can barely tolerate people now. He wouldn't want his best friend to be the leader out of no where. Or we could try to get the king to get it together and take the reins back. He seems more reasonable.
As for the heat joke, well, he scolds himself internally for nearly getting flustered over something so stupid. And pointless. I already went to a magic school. He doesn't get the reference! I can find you that enchantment.
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He grins. Istredd flustered is going to start being a thing to amuse him, it seems. But you haven't been to this magic school. There are better things to use money on though. Please do, either way. I could use them when we keep sinking into winter here.
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He knows about Michael and never considered asking if there were others. He doesn't know if that name is someone back home or someone here, but it seems like a reasonable thing to ask.
Istredd would like it if Lucifer forgot the joy of flustering him, thanks. He likes to keep his composure but it is very easy to spin him out, a fact he is hoping to keep secret. Due to embarrassment. Have you always been this sensitive to the cold? You're this all-powerful old being, and you hate winter.
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Unfortunately, there's a couple. Michael in Solvunn and a few in Free Cities.
Istredd's a smart man; he can likely make the connection from the sentence to Lucifer saying everyone he knows in Free Cities wants him dead.
No. I 'burn cold' as it were. But I've lost so much that makes me what I am that it's... lessened all my tolerances. Now I sleep, eat, and bleed. And my own inherent cold literally comes back to bite me.
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The people who want to kill you? Yes he makes that jump immediately, frowning. His concern is clear, worried for Lucifer's safety, considering he came to him bleeding everywhere once. It must have been them. He needs to protect him, despite that seeming ridiculous to someone powerful. I'll be able to feel if you're in danger too.
Lucifer didn't sleep, eat, and bleed before? There is no end to the ways in which he's an alien. Here, I'll .... He begins to cast a low level Abraxas heating spell, not thinking about the fact he was in pain horribly recently. So attempting to use his magic immediately backfires on him, causing his headache to worsen and he hisses.
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And any thoughts around the why of it are obfuscated, if only because knowing will make Istredd more willing to get involved. But Dean with that blade could gut through Lucifer into the heart of his celestial being.
And he will shred through Istredd before he even tried a spell.
Lucifer refuses to allow that any chance of happening.
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You're my friend, I'm not going to stand by. It is slightly hypocritical to say that considering he just went somewhere Lucifer couldn't follow and made him fear for Istredd's life for a time. He forced him to stand by and let it happen in that case. He's caught, even he can be a hypocrite.
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There are brief snippets of thought coming through the storm, jumbled and out of alignment, from the very-carefully tucked-away cloud:
Cain and Abel.
Knight of Hell.
Corruption.
'It just made you more of what you already were'--and that last one isn't Lucifer's voice. It's a mousey, but high voice, clouded over with feelings of hatred and betrayal and shattered love.
Lucifer spins about, furious. "I know how to handle him. I know how to handle what he has." He's shaking. "He despises me, Istredd, and when that Mark corrupts him completely, I can still contain him." He hopes. "But if you get involved? He will see it as an opportunity to make me suffer, and destroy you. There is no one winning against what he has, not for any of us!"
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"I understand you are afraid he will use me against you. That is serious and I don't want it to happen either." He has no doubt that this man would do that, from the fear Lucifer has about it. It would worry him to be Lucifer's weakness, but he is feeling a few things very strongly in that moment. Anger, frustration, fear of his own, something deeper than he wants to get into.
"I won't go looking for trouble or to engage with this person, I'll leave him alone." Istredd is someone who always speaks very plainly and calm, but when he gets in this state, there's passion in his voice. "But against impossible odds, we find ourselves in another world, we found our way to this friendship unintentionally. Now that I have it, I'm not going to give it up. I gave up on Yenna, I'm not doing it again."
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This is exactly what his goal was when he first arrived in Thorne. Find a bunch of halfwits (Istredd isn't a halfwit, though he is often blinded by his distractions), make them more than what they already were. Make them reliant on Lucifer. Make them want to protect him, because Lucifer had been too weakened to do it himself.
Make them want to die for him.
Lucifer won the game.
He has what he needs.
The problem is percolating on this very ship, the Mark slowly making its corrosive way through Dean Winchester's veins. Make him just like Lucifer, dragged down to Lucifer's level. A monster, a killing machine. Nothing more, just exponentially rocketing up those murderous tendencies--more of what he already was.
A little push here, a little more corruption there. Turn Dean against everyone he's ever loved, make them all see his true self.
And so what if a few people die to get between Lucifer and Dean? They don't matter, right? That was the whole point.
Lucifer knows he bungled his plans up severely at some stage, but he hadn't realized just how much until he's staring at everything he ever needed to survive right in the face and his thoughts are still unable to form new connections to process that. He just stares at Istredd, devoid of thought, devoid of sound.
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Whether it makes sense or not, whether he wants it or not, the two of them are connected in his mind. Lucifer maybe planted it there himself by saying they were alike. She is his biggest blindspot and he didn't expect another one would happen. It's not good for him either, he has plans. But he is telling the truth. This is where he's at. He hopes it never comes to pass though.
What he absolutely did not expect was Lucifer to just stop. Freeze. It didn't make sense so it threw off his anger. At first he is concerned someone is attacking his mind, but he would know that. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he cautiously takes a few steps toward him, closing some of the space Lucifer made. "Lucifer? Hello?"
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So lightning sparks a fuse and the thoughts and feelings coalesce with a bang and feed over the link. All of it. Lucifer's original plans, Lucifer's desire to push Dean's corruption, Lucifer's winning the game, and all of it ruptured by (1) idiotic mage that wormed into Lucifer's life.
The last tumbled thought following like a whimper that he doesn't want to win this.
And then Lucifer collapses, loosely held up in a crouch.
"I really hate you," Lucifer mumbles, sounding no less true than it did the first time he said it.
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Can wrap here!