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[thedevilwhorose]

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[thedevilwhorose]

[...]

Oh, hey man.

[Smooth. Covers up his very-much what the hell scrambling.]

You know. Just chillin'. Catching some sun, enjoying beach life.

[A lie but what does Gabe know.]

[notrunninganymore]

[Everything is super cool on both ends of this conversation. No tension or awkwardness or emotions at all.]

How's the beach volleyball scene out there? Hotties or notties?

[Everything is totally n o r m a l.]

[thedevilwhorose]

Eh. But the spa scene, now that's where it's at.

And I suppose the massive warships.

Pick your poison, really.

[notrunninganymore]

You know there's no question which one of those is more my speed.

But here I am, stuck in goat land with the most well-behaved pagans I've ever seen. Not a single public orgy since I've been here, can you believe it?

[thedevilwhorose]

[OH SOLVUNN, HUH. THAT'S FUNNY. THAT'S REAL FUNNY.]

Well, Mikey's there. His sheer presence draws all the 'fun' outta the pagans.

[notrunninganymore]

They can probably sense the judgemental looks before they even happen.

[Though isn't Michael always looking judgemental by default anyway? Whatever. This stupid banter doesn't matter anyway, it's just a way to try to navigate this situation until they inevitably have to be serious, something which Gabriel is not enthusiastic about. So he keeps stalling.]

Heard you're all alone over there on your side of the continent.

[As far as representatives from their world go, anyway.]

[thedevilwhorose]

He's developed some new Judgement™ looks these days.

[Gabe's heard. Lucifer's heard nothing.]

But we're all one big family in our hearts!

[you could make a feast off his text-based sarcasm]

[notrunninganymore]

Good to know he isn't getting complacent.

[And okay, yikes, no missing the underlying tone of that next message, so of course Gabriel just ignores that entirely.]

We sure are. Should we take bets on how long before Raphael shows up?

[thedevilwhorose]

Michael wouldn't know complacency if it crawled into his vessel with him and redecorated.

[sorry gabe sorry but]

Oh, I don't know, Raphael might actually stay dead, unlike you. Not that we seem to get a choice for who's alive when they should be dead here, I mean, look at Castiel.

[notrunninganymore]

[Alright fine. We're gonna be like this, then.]

Wow, don't sound so disappointed, bro.

[thedevilwhorose]

Awwww, it's good to hear from you, bro. Really. So much.

It's been, ohhhhhh..... boy, I think under a decade, so pennies to us.

[notrunninganymore]

[...Wait a moment. Having already spoken with Castiel, he realizes what's going on, but decides to be sure first.]

I saw you way more recently than that. As in, seconds before I got here.

[thedevilwhorose]

What?

Meaning I just killed you?

[if they were actually talking there'd be no maliciousness to the tone. but that has to be what he means it doesn't make any sense otherwise.]

No one's been here from that early...

[notrunninganymore]

No, meaning you didn't kill me, because I'm not an idiot. Surprise.

[He's rolling his eyes so hard right now, but he's genuinely annoyed, which is probably obvious when he adds--]

Nice to know your disappointment about me being alive was from that particular experience, though. Must suck that the brother you tried to kill wouldn't stay dead.

1/4

[thedevilwhorose]

No but

2/4

[thedevilwhorose]

That doesn't make any sense

3/4

[thedevilwhorose]

Dad said

4/4

[thedevilwhorose]

Oh. Of course.

Well great to know he lies about and to all of equally.

[notrunninganymore]

Yeah, don't get me started. But we can bond over how bad of a father dad is later; you're not off the hook here.

[thedevilwhorose]

What? Oh, congrats, you survived? So what, so you could run away again? Where'd you go this time while Mikey and I were in the Cage and Raphael was dead?

[notrunninganymore]

[Just gonna avoid the main answer to that question, to instead go with--]

You tried to stab me; sorry I didn't feel like sticking around for more of your pleasant company, and didn't see the need to come back once everything was under control.

[thedevilwhorose]

Oh please, I've killed Castiel twice and we're on neutral-ish terms, grow up.

By what definition of under control, exactly, are you going with? Because Michael had a stick up his ass but at least there wasn't a civil war and the angels eventually being ejected from Heaven and becoming an endangered species.

[notrunninganymore]

Comparing me to Castiel is almost more of an insult than trying to kill me.

[He is not serious, but what else is new.]

And don't pretend like you're worried about what was going on in Heaven. You can't turn this around on me.

[thedevilwhorose]

[but he can literally turn everything back to Gabe (right now). it's a skill.]

Must be real shitty then that Dad brought him back and didn't care to even look for you when Amara was sprung.

[and yes, obv he doesn't care about Heaven]

[notrunninganymore]

I can be real pissed at dad and also still be happy my little brother's alive.

[Unlike some people, apparently.]