Istredd feels Lucifer tense the closer he gets and he pauses, uncertain whether to keep going and perhaps it is better to stay. This has been an intense 24 hours and he didn't want to fight. Again. He could have backed down and played the peacemaker but he didn't. He has no idea what is going on right then, until Lucifer slams into his mind.
It is overwhelming all at once especially because it is emotional. Lucifer's basically confessing a lot of dark thoughts and instincts and Istredd is not what one would call vengeful himself. The plans aren't a surprise considering Lucifer admitted to planning on using him. He just wants to sigh about that, because of course he was hoping for this level of loyalty. Istredd played into his hands successfully, and yet, he has no doubts it is both ways now.
The corruption of Dean is confusing although he gets that it is connected to this mark. He wants to intentionally destroy a person to 'win' and no longer wants Istredd to be fodder for it. Istredd is already weak so this is a bit much and he wobbles. He manages to sit on the floor without collapsing the wrong way at least. Istredd stares at him with wide blue eyes and his feelings in response to this are varied. Some disappointment, some frustration, but also compassion. And also, unfortunately, some pleasure too. Whether he likes it or not, Istredd has never been 'special' a day in his life, nor special to someone else, not really. It's embarrassing a little but it's true.
"Maybe you should reconsider what winning looks like to you. There isn't only one way." Istredd resists the urge to come any closer, having seen how he withdrew last time. "You have a choice. I can't make it for you."
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It is overwhelming all at once especially because it is emotional. Lucifer's basically confessing a lot of dark thoughts and instincts and Istredd is not what one would call vengeful himself. The plans aren't a surprise considering Lucifer admitted to planning on using him. He just wants to sigh about that, because of course he was hoping for this level of loyalty. Istredd played into his hands successfully, and yet, he has no doubts it is both ways now.
The corruption of Dean is confusing although he gets that it is connected to this mark. He wants to intentionally destroy a person to 'win' and no longer wants Istredd to be fodder for it. Istredd is already weak so this is a bit much and he wobbles. He manages to sit on the floor without collapsing the wrong way at least. Istredd stares at him with wide blue eyes and his feelings in response to this are varied. Some disappointment, some frustration, but also compassion. And also, unfortunately, some pleasure too. Whether he likes it or not, Istredd has never been 'special' a day in his life, nor special to someone else, not really. It's embarrassing a little but it's true.
"Maybe you should reconsider what winning looks like to you. There isn't only one way." Istredd resists the urge to come any closer, having seen how he withdrew last time. "You have a choice. I can't make it for you."